Joschka in a Pickle
August 16, 2005
Situated 100 km south-east of Berlin, Spreewald is a sleepy, bucolic forest landscape around the river Spree. With a population of about 50,000, including the descendants of the Sorbian tribes, who have to this day preserved their Slavic mother tongue, the region is known for its unique labyrinth of channels and waterways, well-preserved nature, cultural diversity and -- above all -- its pickles.
Immortalized by the German box-office hit, "Good-bye Lenin!", in which they played the prominent role of DDR staple food, Spreewald pickles finally seem to be acquiring an international reputation that will make the inhabitants of the region extremely proud.
Green delights
The good thing is that those zesty little snacks, prepared often with enough garlic to keep the hungriest vampire away, are practically guilt-free: they contain less than fifteen calories each.
This is probably what went through Joshka Fischer's head during his recent visit to Spreewald, when he was offered a pickle by a local producer. The German minister of foreign affairs and Green party leader, known for his rollercoaster diets, is currently shedding pounds as part of his election image make-over.
It was really a golden opportunity for Joschka: to gobble down a vegetarian snack and show that he cares about local delicacies without messing up his plans to get six-pack abs.
Business is business
After a couple of bites, Fischer politely thanked the man who had offered him the pickle, and got ready to move along.
"What about paying?" asked the man.
"How much?" Fischer shot back.
"Thirty cents," replied the man.
With journalists swarming around him, Fischer was hardly in a good bargaining position, and coughed up the money.
The moral of the story? Pickles may be guilt-free, but they have their price. Plus, being a revolutionary in your salad days doesn't entitle you to free salad for the rest of your life. And, finally: never underestimate the power of the market economy.
"That was the most expensive pickle of my life," Fischer said.