Bondage Penguin Released by German Cops

Banging on the door of the house for some time without answer, the police were about to leave when the occupant, a heavily-chained man dressed only in shiny black leather and white socks, appeared at the window. The incapacitated bondage fetishist then managed to drop the keys to the front door out of the window using his teeth.

On entering the building, the police found that the man had been so heavily bound that he was unable to walk. He then shuffled over to them on his knees with his head bowed in what officers at the scene called the manner of a penguin.

"To visualize the appearance of the afflicted party, one would have to imagine a penguin of waist-height waddling with slightly protruding wings," Aachen police said in a statement. "We thought it was a joke at first but the chains were bound so tight with handcuffs he could hardly move anything apart from his head."

After the officers released his handcuffs with their own keys, the man was told that he should use a specialized establishment rather than practice at home. "We suggested in future that he go to places where that sort of thing might cost a bit more, but would definitely be safer for him," the spokesperson said.

The police refused to speculate on how the man became ensnared.